High school is a wild ride. Whether you are walking through the doors as a freshman, in the thick of your four years, or preparing for graduation, the experience shapes you in unpredictable ways. Looking back, here are vulnerable insights that I think every teenager (and honestly, every adult) could benefit from.
1) Live Life Loudly
This little quote has been something I’ve created and carried with me since my sophomore year. To live life loudly is to live without bounds. Explore, be loud, have fun, and prioritize yourself. You achieve nothing by making yourself smaller or hiding from your goals. Tackling every day with a positive attitude is the most important indicator of success in my opinion. That leads to my second famous quote…
2) Embarrassment is Fake
I have significantly better memories from high school because I wasn’t embarrassed to act a little silly. At this stage, stoicism has no business in my life. I live life loudly and do not care about what others think of me, unless I am receiving constructive criticism. To not care is to be free. Often, people feel judged for being too joyous or too nerdy, and I know this because I have been judged myself. I’ve been asked sarcastically what it’s like to have no problems – how I’m always smiling, why I care so much about learning, what I do all the time since I had no social media – and it got awkward. Being happy doesn’t mark the absence of difficulty, and not having social media doesn’t make someone “weird.” However, I never took these questions or comments to heart. Some people simply can’t understand or appreciate spontaneity and creativity. That shouldn’t embarrass you. Embrace your quirks and don’t let people make you feel small!
Even regarding stupid stuff, like tripping, sneezing too loudly, getting a stain on a shirt, or waving to someone who doesn’t wave back, people tend to overthink such small incidents that create unnecessary stress. Be sure to shake these things off and remind yourself, it’s only embarrassing if you’re embarrassed. Embarrassment is fake.
3) Take initiative.
Start a club. Send ideas to project managers. Reach out to a local magazine. There are limitless opportunities surrounding you. You can’t expect passion to do all the talking. Sometimes, you need to be the person to lead or to ask for what you want.
I had always wanted a tight-knit Christian community on my campus that could help me grow in my faith. I couldn’t find one that fit my needs, so I started my own. I recruited officers and hosted fundraisers. Was it easy? No. However, it was certainly worth the effort, and more importantly, it impacted a broader group of people!
Great things come with initiative!
4) Don’t be boring (or bored).
Have you ever met a person who has no hobbies? You ask them what they like to do in their free time, and they reply, “hang out with friends” or “go shopping?”
That’s understandable; we all love social time and downtime. However, I don’t understand how one can have zero independent hobbies. There is so much to explore: photography, hiking, writing, skiing, painting, reading, film, dancing, tennis, cooking, chess, editing, gardening, etc. The list is truly endless!
Do not be the person who has no hobbies. Exploring new niches allows you to connect with people beyond your bubble. It can foster relationships through shared interests. It also improves your worldview and makes you more well-rounded. Lastly, it keeps you from being bored!
5) “Because it doesn’t feel right” is a valid reason for anything.
People always demand an explanation.
“Why don’t you want to be friends anymore?” “Why’d you leave the club?” “Why don’t you want to volunteer there anymore?”
The expectation is that you have a solid reason for everything.
The truth is, that’s not always possible.
Your gut (or in my personal belief, the Holy Spirit) is like an internal compass that leads you in the right direction by instinct. If you feel something in your gut, that is a good enough reason to follow through with an action.
Many times, I have felt a sudden urge to disengage with someone or cancel an event. While others expect an explanation, know that you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Maintain respect and boundaries, but also prioritize your wellbeing! No excuses needed. The right people will always understand.
6) Not piquing in high school is okay.
There is so much pressure to be a part of the popular crowd nowadays. If you’re not, it can appear difficult to have fun. As someone who had few close friends throughout high school, I did notice that multiple different “popular” groups always had somewhere to be and someone to spend time with.
It can be odd to witness everyone living their best lives at parties and festivals at such a young age. They all have the right outfits, a partner, cute digital pictures, and can go wherever they please.
For me, it was the opposite. I didn’t wear bodycon dresses or go to house parties. I never dated, and I never attended a bonfire. Sure, some of these things seemed exciting, like potentially being asked out to prom (it’s totally romanticized in every high school movie I’ve ever watched), but not experiencing them didn’t take away from my experience. I enjoyed sports, movies, and pool parties with my friends, all of which were innocent. But you know what? I maintained excellent grades, never had my physical boundaries crossed, and grew in my relationship with Christ instead of being pulled away from Him. Overall, my moral compass remained intact, and while I didn’t have the “dream” high school experience, I carved my own path and had just as much fun.
7) Stay Active.
Slumps begin when you’re inactive. Be sure to get some movement in every day, whether it be a walk, yoga/light stretching, a sport, or a gym routine.
I’ve noticed when I was swamped with work I started to move less and ended up feeling sluggish. This would lead to overeating and late nights which threw my hormones off balance and added much more stress to my life. No matter how much work or studying you must do, make sure you add movement to your routine!
8) Self-refection is crucial.
It is vital to self-reflect often. This might look like journaling or taking yourself on a walk to think deeply about things.
Self-reflection is a great way to regulate your emotions and understand yourself on a deeper level. Sometimes, I would feel confused by other people’s actions or my own desires. Through internal dialogue, a lot of new perspectives arose, and I was able to understand others and myself better. Truthfully, this solved many conflicts and taught me more about myself.
As an example, you could self-reflect when you have low self-esteem due to rejection from an academic opportunity you hoped to seize. Another example might be meditating after a conflict with a parent. In these moments, ask yourself what the root cause of your turmoil is. What were you looking to achieve? What do your actions say about you? Are they reflective of your character? How do you want to improve moving forward?
After this conversation with yourself, you should feel refreshed and ready to move forward.
9) Don’t idealize people.
Sometimes in life, someone feels like a saving grace. They’ve entered your life at the perfect time. They make you feel special. It is very important not to let the positive obscure the negative. Stay keen.
Other times, you must let someone go. This can be for many reasons, but regardless, you cannot idealize them in their absence.
I had to learn this one the hard way: Grieving people is okay, but avoid grieving the idea of someone.
It is easy to grieve what your life could’ve looked like with someone special in it. This is not exclusive to romantic relationships. Perhaps you ended a friendship that felt draining, but once it’s over, you reminisce about the good parts. You go over every positive memory and wish you hadn’t let that person go. You imagine new experiences with them and being in each other’s future. However, you leave out all the yucky feelings that once came with the friendship. While natural, this is such a destructive perspective.
It is something I experienced personally. If you are in this situation, remind yourself why you left. Not every person has a place in your life. It is okay to close a chapter and not feel guilty about it. Of course, you can appreciate the good, but romanticizing a person who brought you discomfort hurts more than it helps.
Last but not least…
10) Your efforts won’t always be appreciated.
You will not always be appreciated for your efforts. You will not always excel. Mistakes are inevitable, as is failure.
Sometimes, failure is only a result of other people’s incapability to observe the greatness in you. I want you to know that that is okay. You still shine brightly. Do not let anything stop you from achieving your goals, even if you aren’t able to follow through with them in high school. Rejection is redirection!
Additionally, you might do everything in your power to achieve something, but favoritism or connections will snatch that away from you. Do not despair. This has happened to me on many occasions. It is a learning experience. From two failed attempts to make my school’s science fair team to not receiving academic awards in classes I excelled in (and showed up early to and attended after-hours for), I have dealt with my fair share of “no-matter-what you-do-you’re-never-going-to-get-it.” Sure, other kids received positions and awards I worked diligently for. However, I know my future is bright, and I can achieve greater things in my next chapter. There is still time for professional research and academic awards in college. While it hurts to feel unappreciated and unseen, it is a great reminder that life is unfair. You must do the work for yourself, not to be recognized or rewarded by someone else.
To Conclude…
On that note, I hope you enjoyed this piece and feel inspired by it. Perhaps you’ve gathered some wisdom from these lessons and can apply it to your own life! No matter what stage you are in, remember that every day is a blessing and a learning opportunity! Good luck in all of your endeavors!
Don’t forget to leave a comment on which piece of advice was the most useful! I’ll see ya in my next post! Love always, Nicole. 🤗
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