TMT: The Mask Is Temporary (why avoidance coping after rejection can hurt you)

Welcome or welcome back to a Two-Minute Talk Tuesday 🙂

Today’s topic:

Today’s discussion is about why suppressing your emotions can be harmful for your health. This discussion will be more specific to avoidance coping after rejection (in relationships, friendships, etc).

Suppressing feelings is an unhealthy coping mechanism used by many to avoid troubling emotions as opposed to sitting with them and trying to understand them.

According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, avoidance coping is “any strategy for managing a stressful situation in which a person does not address the problem directly but instead disengages from the situation and averts attention from it.”

It’s a part of human nature to desire acceptance, and fear rejection. Rejection evokes strong emotional responses such as stress, anger, and sadness (Leary, 2015). However, throughout the course of life, rejection is almost inevitable.

After experiencing rejection, it’s common to feel numb, or like you’ve been put on autopilot and have become soulless. This may soon develop into sadness, loneliness, or anger. These feelings are natural, yet it is important to address your feelings instead of pushing them aside. Avoiding your feelings can cause the build-up of emotions which may lead to future stress. Avoidance coping may also prolong the healing process.

Therefore, it’s important to face your feelings and understand the root of them. What is specifically contributing to those feelings? How can you overcome them?

Reminder 🤍:

Please remember, there is always a way out of the gray period after rejection. It is important to surround yourself with supportive people, engage in fun activities, and try and grow as a person, whether it be by expanding your hobbies or doing introspective work (journaling and mindfulness practices can help with this!).

And some advice from my friend (another teenager 😄): “To understand yourself, is to better yourself.”

If you want to overcome the pain of rejection and grow from the experience, you must first face and understand your feelings.