A common question I get asked is how I make good friends, those who don’t cause drama, and feel like family. After all, it’s important to have people in your life who add value to it.
The answer isn’t so simple, but below I share 5 tips for meeting new people, having healthy boundaries, and developing your friendships.
Let’s Begin!
1. Get out of you shell or clique! You can’t expect to meet new people if you are always talking to the same people and playing it safe. This includes sitting next to your friends in classes and never talking to anyone new, and dismissing new people because you’d rather be comfortable by being around your friends.
Try and do group work with new people, introduce yourself to others in your class, join clubs/ sports teams where you can make new friends, etc.
2. Stop gossiping and talking badly about others to find something in common. If your first impression on someone is that you are double-sided, rude, and seek drama, they’ll probably avoid you and tell others to do so as well. Try to attract positive energy and good-hearted people because those are the people you can create valuable relationships with.
3. Always be clear with your boundaries. The worst thing you can do is drop your walls completely for a new person you meet. If you’re desperate for friends and this leads you to become a people-pleaser, not only will people find it clingy, but you’ll end up hurting yourself.
Make sure you don’t overshare immediately, and you can be interesting without dumping too much personal information into the conversation. Even though this seems like the easy route to bonding with someone, it gives you a bad image.
4. Trust your intuition. If you feel like someone isn’t a true friend, stay away. It’s better to avoid people that won’t add value into your life. If you click with someone, trust your feeling to an extent. Always be careful, but you can usually tell when someone is meant to be in your life.
5. Don’t lose hope from failed friendships. It’s a terrible feeling when you end up losing a best friend, however this doesn’t mean your search for new friends should end. Even if you trusted your gut with that person, your gut didn’t fail you just because they’re no longer in your life. Many times, you can take a lesson from the failed friendship and apply it to future relationships, making them more successful.
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